Everyday Miracles

By your words I can see where I’m going, they throw a beam of light on my dark path. I’ve committed myself and I’ll never turn back from living by your righteous order. Everything’s falling apart on me, God, put me together again with your Word…….Psalm 119:105-107 The Message
I went out to pray at first light…….my coffee and communion, I call it. My favorite part of the day. But I felt somewhat flat, like someone blew out my insides with a straw. But I was okay with that. I have learned not to trust how I feel so much, but to trust God instead. So I waited in the quiet.
Sometimes, in order to get the miracle, you have to go through the obedience part first. It’s kind of like exercise really. I know the more I think about it, the less likely I will do it. But I have an expectation that when I go out, put on the shoes, turn up my Ipod, start walking, I will feel better.
So, still feeling a bit hollow, I did just that. I cranked up the music and felt the air push through my lungs. My feet picked up the pace, hearing the words Casting Crowns were singing…..”Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west, cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been, keep rising up in me again……in the arms of your mercy I find rest.
And I thought of miracles, and how God has been with me through it all, been with my family, my friends. I can talk of miracles, all right…..and big ones. Like when my Dad was in a prayer meeting and the Holy Spirit wouldn’t let him rest until he went home, and that’s when the phone rang and he got the terrible awful news……
And another time, when my Mom and Dad were in prayer for my sister-in-law who was dying of cancer, praying on their knees in the bedroom, when a snow white dove came to rest on the window sill and it never left, the whole time they were praying. They never saw it again. And she has been with Jesus 14 years now.
And as I pick up my pace even more. I feel it. The miracle…….life pumping into my heart, my soul. The Spirit leaping joy within me as I hear Chris Tomlin sing about how water was turned into wine and He opened the eyes of the blind. And right then, He was opening my eyes too. Faster, and faster I walked, and now ran a bit too.
Our God is greater our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other……There’s no one like You……None like You.
The daily miracle is this, that every day He opens our blind eyes.
The Spirit was bursting joy inside me now.
And then Francesca Battistelli sang……Savior I come, quiet my soul…..remember. Your blood was spilled for my ransom, everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss….Lead me to the Cross where your love poured out. This is it. The everyday miracle that is ours as believers.
I looked up to see a dove with a branch in her mouth and I thought of Noah, waiting for land. This is our inheritance, our history. This right to expect from God is ours every day and that is a miracle in itself!
By the time my walk was over, I didn’t want it to end, so I walked a bit further and thought again of my former Pastor and what he used to say. It’s Jesus plus nothing.
Jesus plus nothing. That is the pure and simple truth. He is everything and in all and through all. I listened as the next song came on. Don’t know how it is you looked at me, and saw the person that I could be…..awakening my heart, breaking through the dark, suddenly Your grace……
Like sunlight burning at midnight, making my life something so beautiful beautiful, mercy reaching to save me…..And as I finished my walk, run…..I was filled to the brim in the knowledge that Jesus is indeed, everything.
He is my Lord, my God, my husband, me being part of the church, my savior, my friend, my all in all. Everything starts and ends with Him.
And it’s all an everyday miracle. Please join me and some special friends, Ann and Duane on their sites to celebrate our faith and count His blessings on a Monday.
Walking and praying with God in the morning, a new job opportunity for Elaine’s nephew and family, being revived in the Spirit, a new garden springing to life, fresh tomatoes on the counter, communion with the Saints yesterday, the joy of seeing life spring from Your word, staying sane, (just barely) dealing someone on a daily basis with a mental illness, projects that keep hands busy and mind neutral, a few days off after a tough week, and last but not least.
I am thankful today for those who continue to risk their lives for our Freedoms which we hold so dear. Keep them safe in Your hands, Lord. #911-921


Songs I listened to today:

Francesca Battistelli: Lead me to the cross, Beautiful Beautiful
Casting Crowns: East to West
Chris Tomlin: Our God
Matt Redman: You Never Let Go

Casting our care……

……….casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
You’re hurt and still reeling from the pain of it……all you want to do is go away. Like an animal that is scared or sick, you want to find a dark quiet place and go there. The pain of it is so great you don’t even want to talk about it. You didn’t expect it, and especially from them. You reached out your hand for help and drew back a bloody stump.
I don’t know much but I do know that when your heart is aching that much, there is only One who can heal it. When you don’t want to talk to anyone else because it just hurts too much to repeat it, you can tell it to Him. He understands. One of the saddest verses in the Bible is also the most comforting to me. It is part of Isaiah’s prophecy concerning Jesus:
……He was despised and rejected–a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Isaiah 53:3
He felt that bitter ache……He identifies fully with us in that way. His own best friends deserted Him when He needed them the most. We all did. When the ones you love the most turn their backs on you, and that you don’t even know what to do with the hurt, give it to Jesus. You can trust Him with it. He is waiting with open arms.
Let Him place His healing hands over your heart today. Even our best friends can’t do that, as much as they might want to.
But He can, and He will.
He loves you dear one.

One Little Word

“I was a stranger and you welcomed me…….”
“That you may welcome her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints…….”
“The native people showed us unusual kindness, for they kindled a fire and welcomed us all……..”
“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house…….”
It was only a simple little sign that said, “Welcome.” My Aunt had tacked it up close to the place we’d park so we would be sure to see it when we came in. To really see that sign for what it was, you would have to understand the million painful steps of grief and stress it took to get there. The welcome behind that little sign said it all…….It meant finding a place of peace for a few short days. It meant, I am glad to have you here….you are wanted, appreciated. You are safe.
When you give someone a welcome, you have no way of knowing how great that impact will be. Or maybe you do. You never know what someone is facing, where they are on their journey or how far that journey has taken them. To someone, your welcome might mean that they can keep going on, that it’s worth it….that they are worth it. And just maybe, our welcome is their last hope.

Welcome in our eyes, welcome with open arms, welcome with words of softness.

Being welcomed is like coming in out of the cold and led to a crackling fire and a steaming mug of something to wrap your hands around.

Being made to feel unwelcome is like being cast out into a raging storm. It can be the loneliest feeling in the world.

There is a world of people out there who are scarred and hurting from past rejection. They have learned not to trust, yet they really want to. And everytime we are kind, we are participants in healing over those old scars. And really, don’t we all need some healing?

I will never forget the sting I felt when I was at a family gathering long ago. The mother couldn’t remember my name and referred to me as “What’s her name….” then they proceeded to go off to a different place and put their chairs in a circle. It was one of the strangest things I have ever experienced. I never want to make anyone feel like I felt that day.
And yet I know at times that I have…….God still has a lot of work to do on me.
And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ Matthew 25:40

Getting Small

Sometimes, when life gets overwhelming, it’s a good thing to shrink yourself down and get close to a tree……and remember when you were small and the world was a very magical place where you believed leprechauns hid behind trees and watched you, and fairies played with fireflies at dusk.
You have to get small again and open your ears to what God wants to say in the deep silence.
He is saying, “See here……I have created all this beauty that you walk by everyday, just so you will know that I am here,
I have not left you and I never will.

I have made my mark and written my name across everything I have created…….and I made the moon so that you could look upon my face and be reminded and be comforted.”

At times like these, I know why Jesus called His Spirit the Comforter……Just when I feel left out in the cold, like everyone “gets it” but me…..He comes and warms like a fire from the inside out.

His touch cures the ails of this world like nothing else can.

Just for today

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 4:12-14

My prayer journal this morning:

Just for today, Lord, help me to embrace this day, knowing that each day holds hope with You. Help me not spend too much time in the past or future, for that robs the present. Too much time thinking about the path behind me leads to over-analyzing and regret that paralyzes my actions today. I want to see today in full color, Lord and not miss the moment.

And help me also, not to waste time worrying about the future. Try as I might, I can’t see what’s around the bend. And if I try to run ahead, I realize that is not part of Your plan. Every time you obscure what I am so desperately trying to figure out.

Help me to learn the lesson of the manna…….only enough for one day and one day only.

You have placed me right here in this present and it’s no accident. You meant for me to be right here. In this decade, year, month……day…..moment.

These moments are manna…….while fluffy manna floating down out of Your hand, a precious gift.

I can eat my fill of everything you give me, right now today, and now that I will have enough tomorrow and the next, until I am where You are. Help me to honor you by staying in this present you have given me, and know that I can treasure the past and look forward to my future.

Knowing it is secure in You.

Grace Blows Through Our Days

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Not only that, He rose for us too……In light of those two facts, everything else in this life can be worked out. Some days are good mostly all the way through, but the average day holds a bit of everything mixed in. Just living in this world is a challenge. Yesterday was a hodgepodge but overall it was good. The usual worries cycled through my head on the way to work. I started to pray and stared off into the road ahead, my thoughts veer off as I hold study to the wheel.

The weather was beautiful and a bit cloudy, all the more beautiful since May and June are coming, and that’s when the heat starts.  In my heart are the usual faces I send up into the throne of Grace.

I think of my brother, who works for The City of Stockton, a whole city on the brink of bankruptcy. He is caught like so many loyal employees, in the middle. Unsure of his job, unsure of his retirement, having to decide whether to let go and move on, or stay onbeard a sinking ship. A dear friend texted me yesterday, going through many hardships with a son, so much hurt, so much hardship, I could feel the pain in the middle of all the words flashing across my phone…..And my dear friend battling daily her own health issues as well as her Mom’s Alzheimer’s…..

And no matter how someone says, “It’s not really them, it’s the drugs…..it’s the Alzheimer’s…..it’s the whatever” that’s doing it, you still feel the betrayal, the indifference like a knife in your heart. You still feel the fatigue of moving through quicksand each day.

And yet…..there are moments of joy, moments of grace wound throughout our days. We know we are more than conquerors, after all, it’s in the very lifeblood and DNA of our faith and it will not let us go. God gives us a supernatural hope that makes it possible to go on…..even be an encouragement to others.

There was an NPR article about the City of Stockton on the net yesterday and I felt a pang in my heart….so many good people who worked so hard to make a downtown, a marina, a beautiful park where people would want to come with their children, enjoy the weather, live life, and now it is all in jeopardy due to gross mis-management and politics and who knows what all else.

And when my brother got home to tuck into the meatloaf my Mom had made, she said he had a quizzical expression as he said, “Did you do something different to this?” Right away she knew what it was and burst out laughing. She remembered being sidetracked when she saw the syrup bottle on the counter right by the meatloaf. It was left out. And you know that when you have a special needs child around, you have to be on your toes. Lauryn had decided that the meatloaf needed a sauce…..a syrup sauce. In her mind it made perfect sense. Oh how I wish I could have been there watching her when she did it.

In the process, she gave her Daddy and Grandma, and me, when she told me about it last night, a good laugh.

And right then, we felt God’s good grace in what a little girl did.

A Song in the Night

It was one of those tossing and turning nights. I seem to have a lot of those lately. A bleary glance at the clock told me it was 2:30 AM. And faintly I heard something that sounded like a bird singing…..Singing, at that hour! At first I thought it was one of those alarm clocks that sound like birdsong. My Dad had one that went through the whole repertoire of a mockingbird. Incredulously I staggered outside into the cool night.

The stars were bright overhead and it was so quiet, except for the unmistakably loud sound of a real live mockingbird singing its heart out in my neighbor’s lemon tree. It was so early the morning commute hadn’t even started yet. Don’t birds only sing at sunrise? This one’s internal clock was surely off, I thought.

Every morning since, I have heard it. The earliest recorded time was 1:30 AM.

At first I was a bit ticked off. I get up at 4 on my work days and every hour of sleep is precious.

But today, God spoke to me as He often does in that still small way He has. He said:

This little bird is singing at my own direction, and who are you to tell it that its not the right time? When is it wrong to sing of My glory, to sing just for the sheer joy of singing. Don’t I welcome any prayer, any song, day or night? Am I ever too busy to rejoice when one of my creatures is singing, do I ever turn away from your song?

And I don’t know if there is such an expression of a heart that pangs, but my heart did pang as I rolled down the window this morning in the dark just to hear my little friend sing.

A tear threatened, when I thought of all the times I have squashed another’s enthusiasm…..a song they longed to share, because I was too busy wallowing in my own problems to open up my heart, my ears, and truly rejoice with them.

And I thought….how I stifle my own song, how I rob someone of the joy of hearing it. Me, for thinking it’s not worthy of singing. Then, and this one last thought is painful……of voices long stilled, and how I would give anything to hear them again, no matter the day or the hour.

Thank you little bird, and thank you God. For using one of your creatures to instruct me once again…..

We all need healing

“Our own experience with loneliness, depression, and fear can become a gift for others, especially when we have received good care. As long as our wounds are open and bleeding, we scare others away. But after someone has carefully tended to our wounds, they no longer frighten us or others.

When we experience the healing presence of another person, we can discover our own gifts of healing. Then our wounds allow us to enter into a deep solidarity with our wounded brothers and sisters.”

Henri Nouwen, the Wounded Healer

We all need healing from something, that is the truth. This life makes its marks. And we are all at different mile markers in our healing journey. Here’s the miracle part. That at just the point when we think we can no longer hold on, someone a little further down the path, or one who is presently not in need of healing speaks hope.

Someone listens……..Someone says they understand, and you know they really do.

One of the ladies in my Mom’s Bible study, when they finished going around the table with all their prayer concerns, (and they were many) said, “the word for the day is Nevertheless.”

I like that…….Nevertheless……we have Jesus. Nevertheless…….we are more than conquerors……Nevertheless…….we exult in hope and joy unspeakable and full of glory……Nevertheless……He gives us peace that passes understanding.

The One who heals us, knows how it feels to be in need of healing Himself.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

When our landscape shifts

He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:19

So hard to leave this place of peace…..As we left the cafe after breakfast this morning I said, “What if we just didn’t go back……got jobs here, lived in an RV.” Suddenly it sounded like the best idea in the world. But then, as soon as the dream took flight, reality set in as it always does.

Responsibility, Oh that. We are, each of us going back to shifting landscapes. Elaine’s Mom has been very combative and she has to address the monumental situation back home. A hard decision will have to be made, and she knows it will be extremely painful.

And while I was away, drinking in the ocean, and cherished time with family and friends, I learned via Facebook that when I go back to work this Thursday, it will be in a brand new place. I was expecting it, just not quite yet. I fully expected to go back to my safe, old comfortable workplace home. So as I said goodbye to a places and people I love this week, I also had to mentally say goodbye to the familiar, the comfortable, the routine. But thankfully, I have a job.

Right now my brother has to decide on a forced early retirement. Whether to stay and risk losing more, or leave and keep what he has now. How can someone who already has so much be given the power to take away what others have worked so hard for?

While we are enjoying the last night on the road before returning home, we are stealing ourselves for what comes next. While our hearts are still on all those we just left, and on their own individual joys and hardships, we also hold the fresh bouquet of memories to cherish.

And the joy we shared this week was real. The conversations were meaningful and the laughter was deeply felt. And as always, there is much to be thankful for.

We leave our prayers behind.

And more go ahead.

God was with us and will be with us through it all……

What matters most

Above all powers
Above all kings
Above all nature
And all created things
Above all wisdom
And all the ways of man
You were here
Before the world began……
This was the week Elaine and I were supposed to go on a cruise to Belize. Caretaking took that away as it has taken many things away this past year…..
But somehow, sitting in church yesterday listening to the sermon and, most of all,  having Elaine’s Nephew Mark sitting right beside us. The cruise didn’t matter as much anymore. Not if it meant having an eternal impact on someone dear. None of our travels matter much in the long run.
What I heard yesterday reminded me. Knowing God matters more. Reaching the halls of Heaven matter. Hearing the gospel and having a chance to respond? That matters more than anything.
When the Pastor took the long black rope representing our whole life plus eternity…..when he held up the piece with the knot about 4 inches away from the end, and how we pour everything we have into that four inches representing our very short time on earth…..
Our hopes, our dreams, our ambitions to make money, have a successful career, a family…..all on that very tiny end with the knot.
And we fail to think, to plan. For the rest of the rope that represents eternity. Stretching on and on.
We fail to count the cost.
Fail to plan for eternity and where we will spend it.
As he said the words, I felt the chill…….Saying “maybe tomorrow” is the same as saying no to God.
Later today is also a refusal.
With all that life hanging in the balance, 
A little cruise didn’t matter so much anymore. 
Above all kingdoms
Above all thrones
Above all wonders
The world has ever known
Above all wealth
And treasures of the earth
There’s no way to measure
What You’re worth
Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all
 Michael W. Smith
the blessings keep coming, as well as the grace…….Awesome church service yesterday, just when it was needed most…..warm beds at night…..money for the new fridge…..and for the new coffeepot when the other gave out……music to soothe rumpled souls…..praise that lifts the tired and poor of spirit……God’s Spirit that helps us through it all…..warmed up oatmeal maple scone……walking in the mornings chill…..time off work, even when I am not going anywhere……#802-812