Christian living

One step at a time…..

My days off have become a bit different. They used to be somewhat free-form and abstract, now they are more task oriented. I had tasks before, but now they are oriented around someone else, not me. When you take on the role of caretaker that’s what happens. At some point in life we all find ourselves in that role. I think there should be a Caregiver’s Anonymous Club. Alzheimer’s and Dementia needs a special group all its own.

Yesterday I was exhausted by noon, and all of it was mental. I lay down and slept blissfully for about 30 minutes in the middle of the day……It was wonderful.

If someone had seen the flowing dialogue in my mind as I went through the day they would have thought, “Surely, this is no Christian.” I drove 60 MPH in a 45 MPH zone because I was so anxious to be home. I said swear words in my head at other drivers. I found myself tempted to lie about what day it was because I knew she wouldn’t know the difference in order to get out of Bingo. Don’t worry, I didn’t. The truth of the matter is that some people expect you to act like Joel Osteen all the time if you are a Christian. Truth be told, I bet he has his moments too.

The difference is, we have the Holy Spirit to help us in those times where we feel out of control. Someone to help us in our weakness. So we pray, we take some deep breaths, we confess our sinful thoughts, and we go on. Step by step, task by task. My Mom once confessed to a friend that she loved Vodka Martinis…..She gasped and said, “But you’re a Christian!” To which my Mom said, “Yes, but that has nothing to do with my taste buds!” Precisely why she has never kept it in the house. She has been a caregiver all her life, and I am sure there are times when she would have liked to pour a stiff drink in the middle of the day. That’s reality. God understands that, and that is why He knew we would need the help of the Holy Spirit, and each other.

Because sometimes life just gets a bit overwhelming.

That’s why I sent out the prayer SOS yesterday morning. Thank you to the absolutely wonderful responses I got, (you know who you are). One of the best things about being in the family of believers is the wonderful prayer support. The day ended up much better than it started…..So, thank you.

“We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 1:2,3

5 Great Reasons to Believe

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

When I was wide awake this morning at 3am, I was thinking about how grateful I am that I can turn to the Lord at any time and He is always there. This started a mental list of reasons why I love being a Christian and wouldn’t trade my relationship with the Lord for anything in the world. As the cats blinked at me in puzzlement at the sudden light flooding the room, I wrote the first two down. The rest came a bit later.
 
We have a friend to turn to in our best and worst days……….He loves the part of me that no one sees. Yesterday I was feeling a bit irregular, like I wasn’t fitting anywhere. Every now and then those days come and I feel much like I did back in high school, like I want to hide in the bathroom stall. Like I want to avoid people, like I don’t like this version of me. But God loves even the part of me that no one sees. I can take all those strange feelings and He knows exactly what to do with them!
 
Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested. Hebrews 2:18

We have an instant family…….Many people given the choice, would not have picked the family that God picked for them. But through that family we got here. However dysfunctional it may have been, (or still is) it made you what you are today. Through that family we have the opportunity to become part of God’s family! God has adopted us as sons and daughters, how cool is that? It always amazes me that when I talk with someone in God’s family, conversation never seems to run out.

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Ephesians 1:5

We have a purpose, we no longer have to wonder why we are here or how it all got started………Suddenly we have new eyes to see with. We are seeing things through the Spirit that we never saw before. We have an assignment, a task, a mission, above and beyond what we do for money. God becomes our life-coach.
 
For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. Romans 1:20
 
We have abundant life now, and eternal life later………We no longer have to fear death! The Bible is clear that the instant we die, we are with the Lord. We have a taste of it now, in the Holy Spirit who has been given to us as a deposit, a guarantee of what is to come.
 
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. John 10:10

We can always find that place of rest………Whenever I feel burdened and stressed and I long for the ocean or that retreat in the mountains, I can take these feelings to the Lord and I get the true refreshment that only He can give. I can go into my closet and pray and He refreshes my soul. He knows what I need. It is a bit like taking a power nap in the middle of the day. I feel like I can go on again.
 
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28

Happy Birthday Mom!

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:15,16
Today you will be getting up early as you do every morning, at 6 AM, your mind already on others, and how many lawn chairs you can fit into the living room for your friends. On this, your second gathering in two weeks. You will be fretting about the rain, but no matter, there will be so much light and laughter in that room you won’t need any.
Your nativity is still up because you have been too busy to take it down, but as you said, Jesus is still here, so why not leave Him up? You will light the lights on the mantle, have a fire in the fireplace and everyone will tell you how warm and inviting it is.
Eighty two years ago today God made a wonderful person and I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am that you were born. Your life is a celebration of our Savior, and you are the person I always want to grow up to be. You know where your strength comes from….You walk with God……You live your life for others, and in return the Lord has blessed you tremendously……I celebrate you today!
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. 13,14

You are the rock, the glue, the backbone…….our world spins because of you Mom!
I will see you soon…….Love, your daughter.

Pets in Heaven?

“God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he’ll be there” Billy Graham

I have heard people get really sideways about this topic. If you tell some people you think your cat or dog will be in heaven they start getting all puffed up and theological on you. My friend will never forget the time she mentioned how she missed her cat of 18 years and expressed the hope that he would be in heaven. She was sitting next to a Pastor and family friend. Instead of acting in love and sensitivity, he bristled and looked at her sideways with a cold look and said something to the effect of: “Pets do not go to heaven….” She will never forget it.
As a result an opportunity to act in love and reconciliation with a fellow believer was lost in that moment. A kind and otherwise compassionate person  lost sight of what God wanted him to do right then, just like we all do at times.
In every topic of theological debate there is one thing that must be perfectly clear. We must always act in love. The book of Titus says we are: “to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” 3:2 In every exchange love must be the backdrop surrounding our conversation, especially between fellow believers…..

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”  

Of course we know that animals don’t have the ability to choose right from wrong, and they can’t respond to the Gospel message of salvation either accepting or rejecting Christ….Duhhh! But God loves animals and thought they were an important part of creation as well as wonderful companions to the first man and woman, just as they are to us today.

The truth is, we really don’t know all the details about heaven and what it will be like. We do know that it will be perfect, and there will be everything there that we could ever hope for. God has given us as much information as we need to know, and there are some things He has left purposefully out.

I realize in this era of goofy theology that we must stand our ground about what the Bible says and be responsible about it, and I don’t think we should ever take liberties with Scripture and add something that isn’t there. We must however, be careful about what the Bible doesn’t say. If God wants to add my cats into the new created heaven, then He has that right. If it turns out they are not there, I think I will be so overwhelmed with everything I see that it won’t matter!

“That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

That’s my story and I’m stickin to it!

Its all about Grace……

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8,9

What I keep noticing as I read through the Bible is that thread of grace that runs like a river all the way through it. I have only done this once before, read it all the way through. I am reading slowly, wading through the current carefully, taking my time. I stalled out trying to pick one of the sophisticated plans online. There are so many to choose from…….You Version, Logos, Daily Bible…..God knows me so well, that my indecision renders me useless at times. The Spirit breathed into my heart……”Just pick it up and read from cover to cover.” So that is what I’m doing.

I have reached the story of Jacob and Esau, where Jacob cheated Esau out of his rightful birthright. I think in my own mind, I am wondering why God would continue to bless Jacob and choose him as the heir, especially after what he did to Esau. But when I study further, I find that Esau had many character flaws as well. And Jacob did not get off scot-free. Here is what it says in the notes to my study Bible:

Jacob the trickster gets his due. After pulling off the ruse, he has to run for his life and spends 20 years in exile with his Uncle. Uncle Laban then gives Jacob a dose of his own medicine by planting an unwanted sister in his wedding bed and by repeatedly changing his wages as head shepherd……This reads a bit like a TV reality show.

When I read all these stories, I am deeply affected by how God uses us despite our many failures, flaws and imperfections. It’s all about Grace…..unmerited favor. None of us deserves what God has done for us through Jesus Christ, but He did it anyway. That’s how much He wants to have a relationship with us……

My Father, how thankful I am that you are always active in “good works” towards me. I can never repay your goodness to me. And all that you ask is that I not tire of doing what’s right, no matter how unresponsive the heart of some whom you’ve called me to serve. Only You can give me strength and courage today, because You know where the way is rugged. Fix my sights on the coming harvest of joy! David Hazard…….”Early Will I Seek You”……40 days in the company of Augustine.

The Best Offering

“It was by faith that Abel brough a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did. Abel’s offering gave evidence that he was a righteous man, and God showed his approval of his gifts. Although Abel is long dead, he still speaks to us by his example of faith.” Hebrews 11:14

The question was posed to me, “How can a loving God send a person to hell when all their life they have done good things, maybe living a better moral life than a believer?” Many people have grappled with this question, and it has become a major stumbling block. It has caused some to question their faith, and it has kept some from seeking a relationship with God. The problem is, they are looking at it from the wrong angle. They are thinking that the works themselves are what makes a person righteous, when in fact, works by themselves can never save anyone.

The person who counts on their own good works to get them into God’s good graces, rejects God’s plan and provision for salvation. They are saying in effect, “I think my offering is good enough.” Look at what Isaiah says: “We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind.” 64:6

And it’s not only unbelievers who can fall into this trap, many in the church today are trying to do good works apart from the Holy Spirit, and as a result they are burned out, discouraged, and ready to quit. We were never meant to do anything apart from the Spirit. Sometimes we try to go back to doing things through our own efforts we fall flat on our face. And God lets us!

It’s kind of like what happened to Cain. He thought his offering was good enough and then was mad when it wasn’t accepted. Abel, however sacrified from the choicest of his flock to give back to God. Somewhere along the line, Cain held back his best. He rejected God’s plan, and then sulked even when God came to him:

“Why are you so angry?” the LORD asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected? 7 You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” Genesis 4:6-7

God never intended anyone to go to hell, in fact He is not willing that any should perish……and all we have to do is reach out and take God up on His offer of salvation. Jesus sacrificed Himself for us so that we might become righteous. He is our righteousness!

The best offering………….
Blessings of this past week…….continued strength and humor inspite of difficulty and challenge……the joy of the Spirit in the midst of joyless company……good conversations about God……fellowship and shared commiseration with friends…..knowledge that we are in the midst of Grace at all times……fruitful quiet times that carry me through, and enable me to help others go through…..questions from others that renew my faith….the support of a best friend who understands…..continued good health……furry ones who give comfort….#647-657

holy experience
Photo by Brunhilde Reinig: public domain pictures

Peace Be Still…..

“He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. The men were amazed, and said, “What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?” Matthew 8:26,27

The people of Japan are experiencing the horrific effects of a massive earthquake. The footage is heart-breaking. To see homes, buildings, streets washed away is devastating. It was unexpected and there is never any preparation for something like that….It happened around 2 PM right in the middle of a work day. The fear is resulting Tsunamis up and down the coast…..

The truth is, there are all kinds of Tsunamis in life. My best friend feels like she is standing in the midst of one right now. She is under so much stress she actually forgets to breathe. She has the burden of taking care of both elderly parents, neither one of whom can get around, one suffering from Dementia and one from Alzheimer’s. Most of the time, they don’t talk, they bark orders.

She feels like her world has stopped, and it pretty much has. Life is going on normally without a hitch for others, but hers has stalled out. There is no time for herself. And it is affecting her health…..Life can feel very much like you are standing in the middle of an earthquake that is still going on. Nothing feels stable, nothing can be planned, because the job is never over………Whether it is a natural disaster, or a family problem, the symptoms are the same. Stress is stress, and the body doesn’t know the difference. It screams, fight or flight.

She longs to hear the words of Jesus, “Peace Be Still.” Oh, how she wishes she could be still, just for a moment. How she longs to be in that boat with Him.

Hear the wind cease…..feel the torrential wind die down……hear the sound of the waves lapping gently against the boat…..

But she can. As believers we have the assurance that He is keeping us. That He is here with us, this He has promised us. His peace is for us. And we have help…..”But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid.” John 14: 26,27

Know right now……..He is keeping you. You may not feel Him there, but you know He is. You have not blown up, hit anyone, exploded, and you are still laughing at times. He is keeping you…..and He will continue to keep you. Sometimes it just boils down to that. And one minute, one hour at a time.

When I was writing this post I remembered this song that was popular back in the seventies….

“Put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water
Put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the sea
Take a look at yourself and you can look at others differently
By puttin your hand in the hand of the man from Galilee….”
(As recorded by Ocean) GENE MACLELLAN 1970

I am so glad I know that Man, and so glad my friend does too…….Please pray for those in Japan today and all others affected by stress of all kinds. If you can, help them carry their burden today…..

Lesson by the sea

That day Jesus went out of the house and was sitting by the sea………
……..And large crowds gathered to Him, so He got into a boat and sat down, and the whole crowd was standing on the beach. And He spoke many things to them in parables, saying, “Behold, the sower went out to sow; and as he sowed, some seeds fell beside the road, and the birds came and ate them up.
“Others fell on the rocky places, where they did not have much soil; and immediately they sprang up, because they had no depth of soil. “But when the sun had risen, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. “Others fell among the thorns, and the thorns came up and choked them out.
And others fell on the good soil and yielded a crop, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty. He who has ears, let him hear.” Matthew 13:1-9
If you have ever planted a garden, you know the importance of getting all the elements right. Way before you plant the seed, you meticulously mix the soil. You add everything you think it needs, just the right balance of every chemical component you can think of that might help turn seeds into plants. You plant the seeds…..you water, you pray for sun, then rain, you go out every morning and if you are like my friend, you speak encouraging words to them….
Then, magically the first green shoot appears and you feel an exultant joy, you are the proud parent of a little sprout! They really do begin to feel a bit like your children! But here is what every farmer or gardener knows. Sometimes no matter what you do, they don’t make it. I know this feeling of helplessness. I recently babysat some little sprouts while the master gardener was gone. I took it personally when some of them died. I asked myself, “What did I do wrong?’ “What could I have done to save them?”  
Sometimes we beat ourselves up because we think we could have done more, said something different, but the truth is, we can only lead them to the living water, we can’t make them drink.
There is not one thing more Jesus can do to save us. I think when He went out into the wilderness for that forty day test, He was thinking of us. He was already praying for those who would accept His message joyfully, but He also knew not everyone would.
“Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.’ The Message

all photos from publicdomainpictures.net

Ashes to ashes……

Yet even now, says the Lord,
Return to me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;
Rend your hearts and not your clothing.

Today I will wear ashes not on my forehead, but I will be wearing them on my heart. I wasn’t raised in the tradition of ashes, in fact I can’t remember ever seeing someone wearing ashes on Ash Wednesday. My own denomination didn’t do that, but sometimes I wish they had. This morning though, I realized something about myself when I was meditating on everything this season means. I was thinking of my habits. How much do they control me, my little rituals?

I am one of those people who love the little things. By the time I get up, my coffee is done. I would never buy one without an auto-setup. That first cup is eagerly anticipated, coveted. It gets me up  in the morning…..And my books, my piles of books. I have them organized, the ones I am reading now in a stack by the bed, and the ones next on the list on another pile in my bookshelf. I am riddled with habits, rituals.

When did they start controlling me? How easily could I let them go? Lent starts all these questions for many people. What should I give up? I tend to want to control that too. I am going about it all wrong just in the question itself. “What should I give up?” As if it is my decision!…..I am worse off than I thought.

I realized it is an open heart He wants. A pliable, yielding heart……one He can work with.

Return to the Lord, your God,for he is gracious and merciful,


slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love,


and relents from punishing.

It saddens me that we don’t see people wearing ashes anymore. It seems we are too cool for that. I hear the lament all the time, “Nothing is sacred anymore.” It does seem to be true. We used to close businesses on Sundays. Then we stopped selling alcohol on Sundays. Then it was changed to selling it after noon. When nothing is sacred anymore, everyone loses.

I admire Chick-fil-a for sticking to their guns and remaining closed. I am glad they are so successful. They understand that when you do things God’s way, you will be blessed. And even if you are not, you did what you knew to be right.

Today I will be wearing ashes on my heart, the ones God put there. I will try my best to keep it open and soft…..and to release all those little things I hold so dear.

You can’t outgive God

“Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” Malachi 3:10

There is much talk and debate about tithing in the church today. I grew up with the idea of tithing. People say now that we are in the “church age” we are no longer under the Old Testament law of “tithing.” People go back and forth about how much we “should” give. But I think that is missing the point. Giving is all about the heart. This is how Paul put it: “Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

The New Testament is full of verses about giving…….

When we take the obligation out of giving, everything changes. It liberates us to give out of the abundance and gratitude of our heart.  We give because God has given so much to us. We can never outgive God, He has already given all He has. He gave us His very treasure, the thing that was nearest and dearest to His heart.

God gave His Son…..
And Jesus gave Himself…..

Out of our tremendous gratitude, we give ourselves.

This is not easy sometimes. Especially giving that calls for a sacrifice. Giving that hurts, costs us something. But God attaches a blessing to that, when we do it……”Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.” Deuteronomy 15:10

He knows it is not easy. All her life my Mom had to budget. Before computers and online banking, which she has never used, she knew exactly how much money she had in the bank. She still does. My Dad worked two and three jobs, always. He hardly ever took sick time. Mom did childcare in our home. They saved. We didn’t go to fancy restaurants, didn’t go to Disneyland……but they always gave.

They are a testimony of what happens when you spend a life giving……..My Mom says: “I told your Dad how much money we had in our checking account and he just laughed!” She says, “The money just keeps coming in.” And my Mom keeps giving it out! To friends, neighbors, everyone with a need…….She always runs it by Dad, who says, “Don’t tell me how much, just do it.” He has learned you can’t outgive God.

There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, and there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it results only in want. The generous man will be prosperous, and he who waters will himself be watered. Proverbs 11:24-25 NAS

Here is the same verse in the Message…..”The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller.”

So don’t worry about how much you should give, just give and you will be blessed!

Today I give thanks for all who have sown seeds of giving in me:

the blogging community for contributing their time and talents back to God…..my parents, who went without themselves to give me braces and send me to a dermatologist among many other things……so many friends who over the years, gave me time, support, kindness, laughter, prayers and shoulders to cry and lean on…..relatives now gone who went above and beyond to pay medical bills when I was born, teachers who stayed to visit after school, giving encouragement….Pastors who rightly divided the Word of truth all along the way……And lived it….God, of course, who gave all He had so that I might live…….#639-646

holy experience