Christian living

Carpet fiber prayers

It was a “Carpet fiber” prayer morning. “Please Lord, help me get up and do this.” That’s all. My mind was churning at 2:00 AM. I tried reciting the 23rd Psalm, that usually works when I can’t sleep. Not this time. I felt overwhelmed. Life is complicated, people are complicated, and my shoulders were never meant to carry all this.

At break, all I wanted to do was go out to my car and be alone with Jesus.

When you are going through something, or your family is……the situation can become bigger than everything else. Even God.

In a recorded speech, Martin Luther Kings talks about a time when he considered giving up. He had just gotten another phone call, a death threat, threatening he and his whole family. Not long before he had been arrested and thrown in jail for driving 30 mph in a 25 mph zone. He was sitting at his kitchen table, a cold cup of coffee before him. He was trying to figure a way out. How he could turn it all over to someone else and go back to the quiet life of a scholar like he had planned. Here is how he describes that moment:

“I discovered then that religion had to become real to me, and I had to know God for myself. And I bowed down over that cup of coffee. I will never forget it……I prayed a prayer, and I prayed out loud that night. I said, “Lord, I am down here trying to do what’s right. I think I’m right. I think the cause that we represent is right. But Lord, I must confess that I’m weak now. I’m faltering. I’m losing my courage.”

It was then that he heard an inner voice…….”Martin Luther, stand up for righteousness. Stand up for justice. Stand up for truth. And lo I will be with you, even until the end of the world.”

Three nights later a bomb exploded on the front porch of King’s home, filling the house with smoke and broken glass but injuring no one. He took it calmly: “My religious experience a few nights before had given me the strength to face it.” We have all reached that crossroads, we ask the question: “How can I get out of this?” We can’t take another step. We want escape. But it is at that point where the Holy Spirit comes in and does what we can’t do. He takes over…….Peter was at that point after he denied Jesus, but what happened just a few days after that? The day of Pentecost!

When you feel de-valued

She heard the questions she has heard so many times before falling around her, and her own hollow answers bounce back against the walls…..the ones they wanted to hear. As she walked out, the real answers thundered around inside her head. Just once she wanted to give the real answers, not the ones pertaining to the company.
What grade are you?
What am I meat? If I were tuna I would be dolphin safe 100 percent albacore fillet baby!  USDA grade triple A. I am all but signed sealed delivered to Heaven, the fact that I am not there yet, means I am still breathing. God proved it with His mark of the Holy Spirit. I am a little lower than the angels, that’s how the Bible describes me……that’s what grade I am. Take that.
Do you have any aspirations of higher learning?
What kind of question is that? Of course I do. I hope and pray that I am learning a little bit more each day I am on this earth as God in His great mercy grants me the time. I would spend everyday in a classroom if I could, but I really do need to pay bills. I believe in improving myself and my mind because God gave it to me to use, not to waste. I would go to writing classes, music history classes, and religion classes everyday if I could and be a professional student…..I have motivation and I look forward to getting up in the morning , I am not a slothful unmotivated person when it comes to learning, despite what my resume says.
The truth is, there is something not right about this ‘ol world system and we all know it. It is broken. Many times the workplace pits us one against another, and there must be a system of measurement used to set us apart. Too many times, this system makes us feel de-valued as people.
As as result, we walk out of meetings feeling two feet tall. But here is the truth…….God numbers every hair on our head.
”Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. Luke 12:7
And even though we are living in a dark world, we are heading into a world of light, where God is king……..”for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light” Ephesians 5:8

This ol world is groaning under the weight of sin and the curse and that snake still slithers in the grass though he knows his time is short.

We are all a spark of divine fixed with an eternal destiny….all of us a combo plate of heaven and hell.  

As I stood at the counter this morning, it felt good to say “No meat” for my breakfast sandwich. Though I know that meat is permitted and God has called it all good, I also know that in the beginning, animals were meant for companionship and not food.  

Way back when, when God presented them to Adam and he named each one. I like to think he put his hands on each of their heads when He did it.

 “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.” Genesis 2:18,19

And God called it all good. And it still is.

Letting our light shine

No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. Matthew 5:15

I need to give a shout out today to my best friend….yes, I am “using you” again, Elaine.

She has been on the job for only a few weeks, but she is shining her light in the workplace already. This is why I love her. She doesn’t wait for an opportunity, she just naturally shines. She already found out who the “Jesus Saves” truck belongs to in the parking lot at the school. Then she found out who “Jesus Saves” vehicle number 2 belongs to, (his wife). And she was so glad, because she really likes him.

The kids talk to her, like little doors they swing right open for her. They pour out everything, and sometimes too much. And so do her co-workers. She has already found out their stories. She finds out because she talks to them, much like Jesus did, I imagine. And she doesn’t ask just to be asking, she asks because she cares, and that shows.

The other day one co-worker hit another’s car in the parking lot and just left. Elaine knew how upset she was, so she stayed after work and buffed it out for her. When the co-worker came out to her car expecting to see the ugly scrape, she was astonished to find that she couldn’t even see where it had been hit. That’s my friend. That’s how she rolls. She just says, “I just do what I would like someone to do for me.”

That’s what Jesus was talking about when he said we were supposed to shine our light so that everyone in the world could see….

And I have watched her do this at every job she has ever had. Every company she has worked for. She gets to know the person who empties the garbage by name and never fails to greet them. Because she knows that person emptying the garbage is worth just as much to God as the big boss.

The other day when her training was complete, she went to Bosa donuts and bought 3 dozen for everyone she works with. They were astonished. “For us?” They said. Not only that, she didn’t buy cheap donuts, she went to buy the best because she wanted them to know she valued them and how they helped her along at a new job.

Just like Jesus made the “best wine” at that wedding.

She doesn’t brag about herself, so I will. ……..Lucky for her, she has a friend who blogs.

 

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”  Philippians 4:12

This morning in prayer, all I heard were the cars zooming behind the house. I ached for quiet. The kind of quiet you find in the country, or sitting at the base of a massive redwood with only the wind sighing above. Everything in my brain is noisy lately.

It is cooling off some, and for that I am very grateful. Here in the desert, it’s hard to remember what season you’re in. I forget what month it is. It feels more like Spring than Fall. The garland I strung, along with the fall wreath of yellow and orange and brown remind me that it’s near. That other places have crisp mornings with the promise of frost, crunching leaves underfoot.

I couldn’t hear the birds over the cars either.

I longed for the company of a quail or mourning dove. But then I sensed God saying……”Do you come out here to seek me or hear the birds?” I thought, “Well, to sit in Your presence of course, but the birds are a nice touch.” Maybe He allows distractions, and maybe He even sent the birds away for the morning.

And maybe I needed to be reminded that life, and prayer, are sometimes as dry as toast.

And it’s perfectly okay.

Because wherever He is, there is beauty and truth, and everything we need.

He is all I need, more than enough like the song says. Somehow, by His grace through the years I have learned this secret. To open my eyes to the extrordinary in the ordinary and lift out the miracle that resides within. All around us are people who need a miracle, and we can give it to them.

Because He has called us “friends.

When Church Happens

He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. Colossians 2:14

I went to church but I didn’t go all the way in. To be honest, I just didn’t feel like hearing another sermon. I have heard it all before. I have sat and filled in the blanks dutifully, like one more task I have to check off. Done. On to the next thing.

I miss the interaction. I miss how at my old church they would ask if anyone had a burden, a need. And then others standing by would surround them, touch them, hands like gentle doves lighting on shoulders, backs…….. and the Pastor would pray. Sometimes they would cry and we would want to cry too. There is something powerful about the laying on of hands…..passing the Spirit from one to another.

It unifies us all.

Somehow I can’t escape the feeling that we are leaving with our burdens intact. There might be a burning need right next to me, and I would never know it. An inner cry for help like a dial tone unanswered.

We leave as the islands we are. Untouched. Still carrying the heavy load.

I wonder and not for the first time if the Spirit is not quenched with all our organization. Just one Sunday I wish the Pastor would stop and say, “Now everyone turn to your neighbor, not the one you came with, the one you don’t know, and pray for each other for 15 minutes.”

And I miss the altar call. Some say it’s just not needed anymore. It makes people feel embarrassed, singled out. But I disagree. I feel like it’s what draws us all in, and holds us together. Makes us remember when we were the one propelled out of our seat, and how that aisle looked impossibly long.

And when it was just you and the Lord, and no one else. And somehow, you know that this one thing, this one moment will change the course of your eternal destiny. What in the world matters more than that? I believe churches are robbing their congregations when they take this Holy moment away.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe in the church more than ever. When I miss it, something is wrong. But I also think that church happens more often than not after we leave the building.

As we sat yesterday with old friends, listening to all they have been through since we had last seen them I felt church happen with the exchange of tears. When she said she was finally getting help in dealing with the death of their little boy. That little boy who was their whole world and in some ways still is.

I can see how that little boy is so alive to them still. And how if he knew what a shadow his death made on their marriage, how sad he would be. I wish I would have told her that if he knew his Mommy was finally getting help, that he would smile from Heaven.

We talked of how it will never go away, he will never go away. But you learn to make some kind of peace with it. And go on for others who still need you.

Church happens when love happens, and not just on Sunday. But over coffee, in between classes, in parking lots, in school buses, everywhere God is.

It happens when we remember the Cross and what was done on it, for us. And that every single thing we bear in this life, He already dealt with.

It was nailed to the cross when He was.

In light of that, we stand at the edge of eternity every day. And with each day, no matter what we have to handle, our gratitude can’t help but grow.

We just can’t stop counting the gifts. Join me today? And Ann at Holy Experience here.



A day in the life

 

Staying one step ahead. That is what you consistently have to do. And if you forget, it throws the whole day off. That kind of living alters your life. It’s very much like having a toddler in the house, you must think of things they may get into before they do. Secure the area at all times.

You leave the washer open in the morning and ready for her soiled PJ’s to go into. And you never  leave washed clothes in the washer, soiled clothes will go on top of them. Many loads had to be repeated because of that.

Check room for dirty clothes she puts back in closet.

Secure unopened mail. Put it somewhere she won’t find it.

Leave phone turned down, always.

Don’t leave suitcases out unless you are ready to answer 100 questions about where you are going and when.

Signs on doors, on microwave…….so many rules.

Yesterday the pacing was bad. Every time I settled down to write she would come back in the door. Or go out again. The silent close of the screen door……50 times a day. And every time, the air conditioner would click on trying to keep up with the raised temp in the house.

There used to be a zoo in my hometown that I liked going to, but I always felt sad for the coyote. He paced all day in his little cell. As a kid I wanted to set him free and live the life he was meant to live, running through fields chasing rabbits. I have never really liked zoos since.

I know Joyce must feel a bit like that coyote, and I can’t imagine what it’s like inside her mind. So I really try to be patient. We take her to Walmart and buy her an ice-cream and let her sit on the benches and watch people. She likes that and so far has only wandered off a few times. Security had to be called.

But yesterday I was in a hurry and just wanted to get there and back.

By the end of the day I felt like the coyote as well, so I went to the store again……..I found myself whistling in the aisles…..I felt that sense of freedom that happens when you are suddenly sprung. I understand now how women with small children feel, just wanting to go…….anywhere away.

Elaine dreams of Alaska with an unlisted number.

This is our life right now. And Jesus is here with us. So it is going to be okay. Because…..

“Never will I leave you or forsake you…….”

Asking the big questions

Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:17
 
I slept late because I took a Walmart sleep aid. I missed prayer this morning……and running. That threw me all off.

Then I was messing around with the template and header on my blog yesterday and messed it up. So now it is beautifully off centered…..and the lettering is also not centered. Bless Dusty Rayburn for sending me the code. I know what he sent was right because he is a very smart guy, and a techie. But I put the code in and nothing changed.

And I decided that was okay because my life is very much like my crooked blog header right now. A beautiful picture  but gloriously off center. Not perfect. So I decided to leave it like that as a reminder.

“How did you love today?”

At the close of each day it’s what I ask myself. It seems more often than not there is a big fat red “F” on the report card in my heart. Mentally I check off everything I did wrong. I see fail after fail. Glaring at me from inside their smug little boxes.

We need to ask ourselves the hard questions as Christians. That was what came out of the church service on Sunday morning and ever since, I have wondered. Have I fit Jesus into a comfortable niche in my life?  Am I a “friend” or “follower” like on Facebook or Twitter, or am I a Disciple?

Disciple has definite connotations.

I felt the weight of it all as I stepped out the door to finally go running. I needed it to clear my head, and heart. And as I ran, something happened. I felt it lift. As I heard the words to East and West, I felt the warm oil of His grace from the top of my head all the way down to my toes.

It was like the oil I was anointed with once for sickness. And now I was feeling the healing of His Grace all over again.

Grace that is always greater than all my sin.

And where grace enters in, He always brings His love with it.

Oh God, this is it. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, for the assurance I am still and always Your child.

Only in Jesus can I be that picture of perfection. God sees my heart. The truth is, there is a lot I will get wrong today too, but there are some things I will get right.

I will get up and try again tomorrow with Jesus. And I thought another thing too this morning. That like Alzheimer’s? Once we confess to God, he not only forgives, He forgets all about it.

He has given me a living, breathing example of that right in my own home.

I guess you could say that God has a form of Alzheimer’s too when it comes to our sin.

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12
 

Love, Dad

—–Original Message—–
From: Lyleret8 Lyleret8@aol.com
To: Lheyd59 Lheyd59@aol.com
Sent: Sat, Sep 1, 2012 8:41 pm
Subject: book

Hi Lori, We worked on the fence today as I told you. The real hard part is done. Ron forgets I am 84. We did bending over all day, I can not do that….I came home and took a shower and relaxed in bed for awhile. I went out on the back deck in the cool breeze and took Merton;s book and you Prayer Closet book to read. I ended up reading your book for an hour and a half. You know I read good books but I was mesmerized by your writing, you write like Thoreau or Kathleen Norris. about nature and life. I can’t tell you how absolutely blown away by your talent. I Love you, Dad.

This email was sent to me by my Dad. And surely he could not have been talking about me, but about someone else…….I teared up when I got it, because I realized again how incredibly blessed I am to be surrounded by people who have sent me things like that my entire life. Not because I am so great, but because they are…..I don’t mind telling you, it made my night.

There is no price we can ever put on the value of good words. And because it was done for me, now I make a habit of doing it too. I never leave my Mom and Dad’s without leaving something under their pillow to find after I leave. And I leave notes around the house where I know Elaine will find them too. She had many words thrown at her growing up, but many were not good. Most were negative.

Edifying words have the power to convince someone they can really do anything they set their mind to do. But negative words have the power to demoralize and destroy. Sometimes those words make someone set out to try even harder to succeed, but all too often they leave a wake of destruction.

Some people spend all their lives recovering from the sting those words leave behind.

God loves it when we give out good words…….He knows their incredible ability to heal, to mend, to uplift.

And that person who has been on your mind? It’s time to write them a note or email . It may come just in time.

And then leave one for God too, even though He already knows what you are going to say…….

And if you have ever thought about setting your blog to print, I would encourage you to do so. It makes a wonderful gift for someone you love. Sure, they can get on the computer and read it, but there is something about being able to hold your words in their hands. Like having a bit of you with them.

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24

Telling the story

The most authentic story is the one we are living out right now.
I felt like a kid on the playground who got picked for a game. You remember that feeling, the lineup, the choosing sides? If you are like me, you hated it. I was always short and not very competitive so I never got picked first. Michelle Fromm always got picked first, and you always wanted to be the one she picked first. I was always somewhere in the middle, and that was fine with me, as long as I wasn’t dead last.  
Today, over at Bibledude.net Duane Scott is launching something very special.
I was invited to take part in this wonderful opportunity to share some of my stories, and though I’m still not sure why, it is a great honor. I think maybe God had something to do with it. The reason this means so much is because I believe in it so strongly. We all have a story and no one story is more important than any other, especially to God.
God has written our story on His heart, and more than anything, He wants us to share His story with each other, and with the world. After all, His story is the one that matters most. Like the old hymn says:
Tell me the story of Jesus,
Write on my heart every word;
Tell me the story most precious,
Sweetest that ever was heard.
Tell how the angels in chorus,
Sang as they welcomed His birth,
“Glory to God in the highest!
Peace and good tidings to earth.” 
Well, that is part of it anyway. This song, written by Frances J. Crosby, tells the redemption story. The most important story that will ever be told. And, your story, our stories, matter.
So pull up a chair, sit down beside us on the bench and we will share a story together. Who knows what we may learn from each other…..
Many thanks Duane, again!

Prison Break

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15

I have been trapped in a spirit of oppression lately. I have labeled it work because that is the easiest thing to blame. There has been much stress there, but the main stress has been within myself. Sometimes we just lock ourselves up in prison all over again, even when we know down deep, that once upon a time Christ set us free.

The circumstances of life make us forget.

And I had to be honest. I had to admit, first of all,  that there were very valid reasons why I was stressed. Sometimes it doesn’t help to label all the reasons why you shouldn’t be stressed, or fearful, or depressed. I acknowledged my blessings…..I do everyday.

I see the pictures of the flooding, and the wrecked houses, and lives, and I know that is not me.

And I thank God everyday for what I have, and it is a lot. And everyday I have many moments of joy, but there was something that wasn’t right under the surface.

And though I don’t have to worry about food, or live in a mud hut, or fear that I might be raped at any second as so many women in other countries do…….or fear for my life.

The exhaustion I felt as I held my head in my hands yesterday was real. On the way to work today I felt much the same. Head pressed to the carpet, I prayed just to get up and go in. To put a step in front of the other and keep going in that direction.

For some reason, the words kept coming back to me when I was driving……..

“My chains hit the ground…….my chains hit the ground……my chains hit the ground.” Just like the song we sing in church just about every Sunday. Yesterday, it was the other song about freedom. “My sins are gone….I’ve been set free…..my God, my Savior has ransomed me…” and I didn’t know why.

But now I do.

Because God wanted to tell me something. And this morning He whispered it to my heart so I could hear.
He said…….“Lori, you need to embrace your freedom.” Just that. And immediately I knew it was the truth because tears sprang. I had forgotten my freedom and put myself in a prison of my own making.

My chains are gone……I’ve been set free.

And today right now, I feel better. And another praise, a big one. Elaine passed all her Commercial driving tests today. There is now a new bus driver in the Apache Junction School District. A new path has opened for her, and I just know God is going to bless all those kids through her.

Thank you Lord!