The day I took my wonder back

I am so excited! Today is day #1 of the Wonderstruck book club blog posting. I am linking up with Duane Scott and Shelley Miller and writing about the book once a week through May 8.

I have long been a student in the school of Wonder. My folks taught me at a young age to live with my eyes open and ears tuned to the beauty of God’s creation. We didn’t go to Disneyland when I was a kid, we went camping. When I read the first two Chapters of Margaret Feinberg’s book I was hooked. She had me at the Northern Lights, and Hobbits. But what do you do during those times when the worries and stress of life has squeezed the wonder right out of you?

What I do is pray. Then I go outside and let the wilderness speak for Him.

I tried to tell myself it wasn’t because of the snake that I hadn’t been to the trail this year. I tried to convince myself it was other things.

But I knew the truth.

In my mind’s eye I could still see it. Coiled there in the sun. Waiting for me to find it. Well, no it wasn’t, but that’s what it felt like. And then right after that we saw the rattler in the road and I remembered how fast it coiled when we slowly idled by. Gave us both the creeps.

The mountain had been calling me for weeks. Someone had told me the Superstitions were ablaze with color and I had decided, today was the day. I needed to hear the quail call minus the sound of the freeway in the background.

When I got there, several cars were already parked in the lot. Good, I thought. More people on the trail means more footfall to scare away the snakes. With camera bumping against my side, I headed out. The desert was ablaze with yellow flowers and for a moment I forgot my trepidation and clicked some photos.

I felt like God had graced the area with hundreds of bouquets just for me.

I took a deep healing breath and walked toward the trailhead. My heart was pounding even though I had scarcely begun walking let alone climbing. I scanned the trail from side to side as I walked, eyes peeled for any movement. I jumped back at the sound of a harmless lizard scuttling through the brush. My eyes drank in the sights and sounds as I tried to erase that other sinister image burned into my brain.

Breaking into a trot, I figured if I made enough noise, the snakes would have warning and time to get out of my way. Or get really ticked off. How stupid, I thought. That’s just what they hope to do to us with their clever rattles of theirs.

In times when I have been deeply distressed, nature has always been a way for me to find God again, to get back my balance, and I was tired of letting this fear win.

As I approached the place where I had seen it last year, I prayed for God to deliver me from my silly fear. I made up a mantra, “Damnsnake, Damnsnake, Damnsnake,” and I uttered it under my breath. Then I started to get mad at it all over again for robbing me of trail time this year. With head down and heart pounding, I soared up the mountain in what felt like super-human strength. I did it!

I felt a victory bubbling up in my heart. I even paused to take a photo to commemorate the spot as I felt my wonder come flooding back.

When I got to the midway point I rested on the bench. I felt exhilarated and free. Buoyed by my victory, I greeted fellow hikers and felt joy spill over me like a fountain. I had told myself that for this first time back, I wasn’t going to go all the way up to the top.

Now that I had it back, I simply had to go all the way.

On the way up to the top, I met an elderly man from Canada coming down. He held two walking sticks and was dressed in a dapper cotton plaid shirt and hiking shorts. There was a spark of Heavenly light in his eyes and it inspired me to see him out enjoying life, letting nothing stop him. I stopped and we talked about this and that, and then I went on my way and he went on his.

I thought to myself, this is catching, this wonder thing. And I thought, and not for the first time in my life:

Wonder is contagious, and it’s something we can pass on.

I sailed down the mountain, my spirits lifted to the heights of Heaven, my day transformed by wonder.

Smiled on by grace.

How we can rise again and again

It was just a little wedding arbor up in front of the church, the plain wooden kind, unadorned, flowerless and simple. We wondered at its presence, but later on in the service we watched it take on significance as that humble little wooden arbor become a portal into another world.

We watched living souls walk through that little arbor clutching their signed death certificates, the ones that were on all of our seats, walk through that humble wooden portal from death to life in just a few steps all the way to Jesus. It was a victory walk they were doing, and we watched, witnesses to their commitment as we clutched our own certificates and renewed our own vows.

As the invitational song was sung, I had my eyes closed praying when Elaine elbowed me. I saw tears pooled in her eyes. She pointed left and then tears sprang to my own eyes as I saw a throng of people, as it turned out over 200 in our service alone. I expected several, but to be honest I was not prepared to see that many. I thought maybe there was a hidden door somewhere, because I didn’t know where all the people were coming from. The last one over the threshold was an old man, alone. Everyone clapped as he walked through.

My faith was in turn chastened, restored and staggered by seeing the redemptive power of the cross in action. And out of the land of shadows we all came, right along with them.

And then when Pastor Kevin said, “And if you want to get Baptized right after the service we have clothes you can change into, I will be there waiting.” That just set our hearts in motion even more. Watching people take that leap of faith in front of God and everyone never gets old.

After that we talked with our new neighbors and met their dogs, then later we took a short drive in the Motorhome which has been somewhat neglected due to so much time taken up with E’s care-taking duties. Soon after we got home there was a phone call from her Dad’s nursing home asking her whether to admit him to the hospital. He was thrashing around and crying out.

She left and walked into halls where death always seems to be waiting. Crouching on the sidelines.

Bus isn’t it always in this life? And Easter Day it seems, is no exception.

The day after Easter we are faced with the challenge of rising up right along with Him, of living out our faith story victoriously. We can only do that one way, and that’s by fixing our eyes and our faith on Jesus. Each and every day……we……must……choose……life.

Watching someone suffer and arrive ever closer to death who has not chosen the path of life is heartbreaking, and no one is more heartbroken than God Himself.

Who sees what could have been in each of us.

We are all waiting in the wings between life and death. But because of the cross and the empty tomb, we can rest there victorious, hopeful and fully alive. And if you love someone who is still living in the land of the shadows, never give up. Where there is breath, there is always room for hope.

The day we call Easter has come and gone, but the power of the resurrection raises us up again and again. Until that day when we see Him face to face.

And oh what a day that will be.

I brought my death certificate home and stuck it in my Bible to remind myself of what I decided long ago and where I am going after I leave this place. It rests there now.

Hope between the pages.

He is not here……

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus…….

While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ”

Then they remembered his words.

While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.”

He told them, “This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in hisname to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.”

Taking “It is finished” to heart

Tonight, I didn’t read. I didn’t grab my IPad and hit Facebook to check in with my buddies. I just crawled into bed in the dark and the silence and thought about the day and waht it means. I thought about Jesus on the cross and how He said it was finished. And it really was. Every bit of it. Every thing we have ever struggled with…..

Every addiction, every grief, every heartache……finished right there. We don’t have to wrestle anymore.

But I still was.

Then I visualized Jesus holding me as a parent holds a child who needs calming. He drew me into an all-encompassing hug, and I drifted into sleep typing words into my phone. This morning I awoke I rolled over on my phone, and remembered.

When He said, it is finished, He meant it.

Instant access to a bankroll of power that we so often forget we have access to.

We are still boxing the air, long after our opponent has left the ring. Wrestling like Jacob all night long. We stagger away, weak.

The only decision you need to make is right now today. “Can you trust me?” He says.

He carried me through the day today. It was quite possibly the worst day at work we have had since my training in this new area. Even my trainer was confused. And yet I felt Him carrying me all through the day. We both even laughed at how things were happening that had never happened before.

And yet…..a sprinking of Saints throughout the day, which for many reasons was difficult.

Made all the difference.

He said that it was finished…..

And I believe Him.

Even the sun hid her face

At noon, darkness fell across the whole land until three o’clock.

That day, even the sun refused to show her face.

Then at three o’clock Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?”

Right then, He tasted hell so we wouldn’t have to.

Then Jesus uttered another loud cry and breathed his last.

And it was finished once and for all.

And the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.

That day, even the ground gave up her dead.

When the Roman officer who stood facing himsaw how he had died, he exclaimed, “This man truly was the Son of God!”

And when they saw even the elements quake, they fell silent……

That day, even the sun hid her face.

But not for long……She knew Sunday was right around the corner.

Passages not italicized taken from the Book of Mark

Making Pancakes for Jesus

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Every once in a while, well a lot, God reminds me not to take myself too seriously. Today He gave me this post. I started to continue with Isaiah 53 and get all heavy and sad and introspective, but then God switched things up on me because last night I had this dream. Anyone who knows me knows I have very strange dreams. Anyone close to me gets to hear the details sometimes, and sometimes, like today you readers. All 2 or 10 or maybe 20 of you.

Sometimes I dream about funny little cars with no bottoms, like the Flintstones drove. Other times it is my teeth falling out. Other times it sweeping a floor or getting ready for a party that I never get to. Many times water will be rushing through my house, other times I will be climbing ladders and dark, steep passageways.

Last night it was pancakes. To those who know about the semi-conductor industry or wafer fabrication industry, you know that the chips in your computers start out in round wafers which come in different millimeters and sizes. When I started out in 1998, the wafers were about 6 inches in diameter. We actually had to manually move them around with vacuum wands. Now everything is fully automated and humans never touch them.

Last night my wafers turned into pancakes. I was in an area as big as a very large room with different cooking stations set up, kind of like something you’d see on Iron Chef, with and pancakes in various stages of cooking on each one. I had to remember which ones were close to being done so I could flip them.

What does this have to do with Jesus, you say? On the way to work I was thinking that in light of what Jesus did for us? What we are doing down here pretty much boils down to making pancakes. I don’t care if you’re the President of a major corporation or the President of the United States, we are all just making pancakes.

The question is not what we are doing, but how we are doing it. That is all that matters to God.

God is not impressed with what we do. He is impressed by how we are doing it and who are we doing it for, and if we are doing it with love. I guess it’s easy for me not to take myself too seriously. Everytime I call my Mom and kinda, sorta, almost complain, she tells me about someone she heard about who was orphaned and has no arms and has to do everything with their feet, and they still went to night-school and raised 5 kids while doing it.

That may be a slight exaggeration, but you get the point.

So today, in light of the tremendous sacrifice Jesus made for us? That whatever we do, wherever we go, whatever we think looks insurmountable or really impressive?

It all comes down to making pancakes to the glory of God. (Latkes in Yiddish and Levivot in Hebrew)

I pray that you will forgive my lighthearted approach leading up to Good Friday. It is a day that I always take extremely seriously. I will doing some reflecting over the next couple of days, as I always do. But always, with the backdrop of the joy of the celebration foremost in my mind.

May God light your path today and lift your heart as we celebrate His death, burial and more importantly His resurrection this week.

Photo credit: my niece Lauryn Cook taken by her Dad. I used it because it always makes me smile.

Two o’clock prayers

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God. John 1:10-13

At 2 AM thoughts seem to echo in the brain. I knew it was early because there wasn’t a car on the road outside. At that hour only stray cars exist, cars coming home from bars or trouble, or swingshift.

The angel of death seems to slither through the hallway and I am aware of every ache and pain as I roll from side to side and back again. Mortality looms large. It ticks right along with the clock, and I have never been so conscious of it.

Thoughts turn into prayers as the moon sits high above.

53 is an age where you start thinking seriously about how much time you have left and more importantly how you want to live it.

I want what I do to count for eternity.

Death slithers like inky black smoke curling at my feet and I think of my parents dying, my cats dying, everyone I love dying, and if I will be alone when I die or if Jesus will come first. It is in the meat I ate last night, and I think how I’d like to give it up. It threatens to climb higher but I don’t let it, because I remember another more important thing.

Death has been swallowed up in victory

I never have to worry about being alone again.

Take that, angel of death.

The stone has been rolled away, in fact if I listen close I think I can hear it.

I blearily get up at 03:48, still feeling more dead than alive. But then I get coffee and I taste how good it is. I feed cats who are still very much alive and well. I hear E. breath from her room fast asleep and I smile because I know God holds her in His palm and He also holds me, and my parents, niece and brother.

Life has won. Love as won.

And it always will.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5

He was thinking of you……

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.

He wants to take them up even now, He is waiting.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

He was willing to be a loser in the eyes of the world so that we might be winners.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

He took the punishment and death meant for us willingly so that we wouldn’t have to since we were powerless to do so anyway.

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

He took the mortal death blows so that we could all be reunited with God and live as one happy family in eternity.

His resurrection gives us peace in this life as we await the next.

He could have silenced them all with one glance, but He took our punishment like a man. He wasn’t afraid to be misunderstood and misrepresented.

He took a false charge because He was thinking of you and me and our future together.

Isaiah 53:4-7 Commentary in between verses are my own thoughts in prayer while reading through passages.

The Suffering Servant

Who has believed our message?
And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot,
And like a root out of parched ground;

He has no stately form or majesty
That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
He was despised and forsaken of men,

A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
And like one from whom men hide their face
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Isaiah 53:1-3

700 years before Jesus walked the earth…..

Images: Google, me, and Laurence Olivier playing the role of Nicodemus in Jesus of Nazareth directed by Franco Zeffirelli circa 1977

My humble Hosanna……

Thank you Lord for this day……this week…… this month…….all these years. 40 years now I have walked with you and many times I have turned aside from the trail only to get myself lost in the brambles, stumbling around in own wilderness which I thought was better than the road you and I were on together.

Time after time you have pulled me out of the deep and set me back into the blinding light of your grace.

And it’s your grace and love that brings me back again and again.

I hope that when I get to the end of this road, looking back will show me all the ground we have covered together and that there be spots of lights where I helped another find their way.

On this Palm Sunday I once again put myself in that crowd of people along the road to Jerusalem. I can hear their cries and see the cloaks thrown in the road and right alongside is my own.

I give you my humble Hosanna.

Waving my palm today for all to see.

Rejoice greatly, O daughter Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter Jerusalem! Lo, your king comes to you; triumphant and victorious is he, humble and riding on a donkey…..Zechariah 9:9

Lori's Prayer Closet

"And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done is secret, will reward you……"Matthew 6:6

Author: lorisprayercloset